We live in an era where being rude or snobbish and sarcastic is celebrated, where being nice is ridiculed or seen as weak or annoying. The worse part is, we carry this mindset into relationships and in marriage and we've watered down love to just a wonderful feeling that somehow absolves us from responsibility for our actions and reactions. Have you ever noticed that we are quicker to react in annoyance to the people we love the most? Love, therefore, cannot be reduced to just a feeling because feelings and emotions are fickle and are therefore not enough to restrain us from hurting those who we say we love, nor is it enough to always drive us to do what is right or best for the object of our affection. Love is an unconditional commitment to always act in the best interest of another person. The Bible in 1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 7 describes love by listing its attributes - all of which require deliberate efforts.
LOVE IS NOT RUDE! Did these words jolt your heart? My heart feels like it's about to burst out of my chest because of the overwhelming passion I feel when it comes to this statement. Saying "I love you" is a commitment to not be rude, disrespectful, insensitive or selfish regardless of frustrations, circumstances, culture or disagreements. Disrespect and insults eat away at the foundation of relationships and marriage until there's nothing left to stand on. Even if you thought it was cute when you were dating or you have a twisted sense of what love is and how you're supposed to be treated by those who you love, it is not sustainable in a marriage relationship and will result in deep resentment. Kavan and I have had many, many, many, many disagreements throughout our eight years of marriage but we've never disrespected each other or "hit below the belt" no matter how heated our discussion gets. Our intentions are never to win a fight at the expense of the other person's feelings or self-esteem. We have the utmost respect for each other and we are best friends first, but most important of all we don't practice treating others poorly regardless of their status. Practice becomes perfect... What you practise before or outside of marriage will guide your behaviour in marriage. In fact, if we are generally rude to persons we don't care for, we will eventually become even more so to those who we feel most comfortable to be ourselves around.